Uncomfortable Truths 2….


  1. Asthma: Because of all the things to be bad at, yours is breathing.
  2. I wish humans had more control over their nipples. Even if we had increased nipple control of 5% I feel like that would have a noticeable impact on my life.
  3. You can’t be funny and inspirational. Pick a struggle.
  4. They should have cell phone chargers in waiting rooms instead of magazines.
  5. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
  6. Why is Friday so far from Monday but Monday is so close to Friday?
  7. Is it ever NOT truck month?
  8. I only want to have money so that I don’t have to worry about money.
  9. If recent events have taught me anything it’s that logic doesn’t work very well when you’re trying to predict the future.
  10. Instagram makes me feel like the world’s only employed person.

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